Erica Ehm gets person with Laurie (Hibberd) Gelman, star of 80’s music video show YTV Rocks. After a few years at YTV, Laurie moved Stateside where she ended up marrying Gelman, well-known producer of Live! with Regis and Kelly. Laurie shares the story of her rise to fame as an American TV host, why she chose to give it all up for her family and how she’s reinvented herself as an award-winning author.

You can be apart of the show! Please leave your memories, questions and guest suggestions by calling 1-833-972-7272 and her recent success as an awarding winning writer.

Show Transcript

Speaker 1: We've got some good rock'n'roll coming up for you now.

Speaker 2: The guys from Kiss have arrived. They snuck in the back door.

Speaker 3: You spend your whole life doing the first three albums, and then suddenly everybody needs your attention.

Speaker 4: Erica Ehm's-

Speaker 5: Thanks MuchMusic.

Speaker 4: ... The Reinvention of the VJ. A flashback on the career that made them who they are today. On this episode...

Laurie Gelman: Just to think about where we were and how we broke out of it, and where we went to, it's amazing.

Speaker 4: This is Erica Ehm's, Reinvention of the VJ. Now, here's Erica Ehm.

Erica Ehm: Hi there. I'm Erica Ehm. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of my Reinvention of the VJ podcast. On today's show, I'm bending the rules a bit. Well, it's my show I can do what I want. Reinvention of the VJ is supposed to be an up close and personal conversation with all the on air personalities at MuchMusic that you may have grown up with. But today, I'm deviating from that. It's okay, it's my show. My guest today was the host of YTV Rocks and Rock 'n Talk, where she like me was introducing videos and interviewing bands in the mid '80s.

Her name back then, was Laurie Hibbert. Today she's an author, she's a mom of two, she's broadcaster, and her name is Laurie Gelman, which she took on when she married the now famous producer of the Regis and Kelly show. Well, not the Regis and Kelly show. Let's call it the Kelly and Seacrest show and Ryan show, Gelman. You know who I'm talking about. On our how today, we get to talk about motherhood, broadcasting, parenting, writing, aging, all the good stuff. We are going to have so much fun chatting today, I just know it.

Of course, we're going to compare our experiences from the '80s, but what really intrigues me is what happened after she left music television. Because it's that story of reinvention of resilience, luck, self worth, struggle, and lots of perspective. That's what intrigues me. While my conversation with Laurie will be a trip down memory lane, I'm hoping that, more importantly, you find some interesting tidbits or insights into what it takes to get what you want in life, to reinvent and be creative, to deal with tough times, and maybe even redefine what success is for you.

Ultimately, I'm hoping to inspire you and your choices in life. For me, well, this is my passion project. For the last 14 years, I've been running one of Canada's largest platforms for moms. It's called ymc.ca and I have a marketing agency that's called Ehm & Co. My job for the last 14 years has been connecting moms with brands. But listen, 14 years that's a long time. Even though I love what I do, I'm hoping that this show may give me some food for thought, while I consider what the next chapter of my life could look like. Now let's get started from her home in Manhattan. Please welcome Laurie Gelman.

Actually, you're not in Manhattan, I lied.

Laurie Gelman: Not right, no.

Erica Ehm: You're in the Hamptons. So from her home in the Hamptons, please welcome Laurie Gelman to the Reinvention of the VJ podcast. Laurie, thank you so much for joining me.

Laurie Gelman: Are you kidding me? You broke the rules for me, I can't believe it. I'm so excited. This is such a great idea, that just to think about, where we were and how we broke out of it, and where we went to, it's amazing.

Erica Ehm: Yeah, I think it's going to be hopefully well received. This is an idea that I had, because in my life, at least MuchMusic was a big part, partly because I was there for 13 years, Laurie.

Laurie Gelman: Wow.

Erica Ehm: I know, it's a long time. Three years behind the cameras, and then a decade in front of the cameras. I was thinking about your experience. You were there for a shorter period of time, but certainly at the same time as me. If you could tell me on a scale of one to 10, how important was your time, back then on YTV to you today?

Laurie Gelman: Well, it started everything, so it was extremely important. It launched me from being a kid who was waitressing to hosting a national music show. National we think, I mean, YTV used to be so small. We were like the underdogs for so many years. But it was everything. It was my start in the business. It was my launching pad to get a job in Miami, which led me to New York and my husband and I mean it just ... I can't imagine what it would have been like if I hadn't gotten a job at YTV. It was a training ground of epic proportions for me anyway.

Erica Ehm: People don't just get hired because they say, "Oh, pick me." There's a lot of work behind that. That leads up to it. So I know you went to Ryerson.

Laurie Gelman: I went to Ryerson-

Erica Ehm: Wait a second, you just made a face. I'm looking at you because we're doing this interview on Zoom, and I said, it takes a lot of work. And you were like, eh. Tell me.

Laurie Gelman: My story is a little different. Just ... I got so lucky. I mean, yes, I went to Ryerson for Journalism. My goal in life was to be an international correspondent for Maclean's Magazine. I wanted to be a magazine writer. This was the goal. Then I got a summer job at CKFM Radio, in Toronto. During that time, it just ... Everything was meant to be. Maureen Holloway was on the air at the time, and I wasn't. I was newsroom grant. She was stuck in traffic on the DVP one day, and she had to pull over and call from a gas station, and call the office and say, "I have this interview with the president of YTV, this new kids network that's starting. I'm not going to make the interview. Here are the questions. Can you do the interview for me?"

And I said, "Sure." I did the interview with Kevin Shea. At the end of it, he said, "Are you happy here? Do you think you want to come work at YTV?" It changed my life. I wish I could say worked really hard for it but, it just happened. It fell in my lap. That was after two years of like real grunt work at CKFM. I have to say that. I was like, basically the dog that people kick when they're mad. I was just the worst low man on the totem pole job. But I went from that job to on the air every day and having my hair and makeup done, and people caring what I wore and stuff like that. It was a really big step, a really big switch up.

Erica Ehm: But you must have ... There must be a core of something to who you are Laurie, to be thrown into this interview with the president of YTV with next to no warning. Is there a superpower that you can pinpoint that you have that has served you well, throughout your life and throughout your career?

Laurie Gelman: My first instinct is to say luck, but luck doesn't get you everywhere. I was lucky to be in the right place at the right time, but I also impressed the man that I needed to impress in order to take the next step. It wasn't just like, "Me? YTV?" Of course, in my back of my head, I was like, "Man, I'd really love to go and work there and do whatever." Because I'd read all about it. Because I was cramming for this interview, I had about 10 minutes notice. Part of me was like, I would love to do that. But I'm not a person that puts it out there in the universe expecting for it to come back. I wish I was, but I'm not. I wouldn't even speak it out loud. But in my back of my head, I was like, yeah afterwards, maybe. I'll see if somebody is ... they're hiring. He asked me before I asked him, so it got [crosstalk].

Erica Ehm: So you're saying your superpower is luck?

Laurie Gelman: Well, kind of. I feel like I've always been in the right place at the right time. Well then luck stops at a certain point and you just sort of ... real life takes over. But I think that I was determined, I was ambitious. But things came very easily in the beginning.

Erica Ehm: Back in the day, in the '80s, when you and I were both on the air, we would see each other at junkets and stuff. We like we were in the same kind of scene together, young women trying to make it in the world of broadcasting. I remember my days at Much were chaotic. The scene at Much was chaotic. We would do these live interviews, phones were ringing, people were walking around in the background. What was it like for you? What was sort of the vibe at YTV? You mentioned, you got your hair done, you got your makeup done. I'm like-

Laurie Gelman: I did.

Erica Ehm: ... we got nothing like that. So tell me about what it was-

Laurie Gelman: Seriously?

Erica Ehm: Nothing. No. We were told to pick our own outfits. We had to pay for our own outfits. Oh, yeah. We were on our own. Yeah, so obviously different from you. Tell me what was it like for you?

Laurie Gelman: It wasn't like that. I came in as ... I'd never worked in television, so I didn't know any better. But yeah, you were put in to hair and makeup. They gave you a wardrobe and they gave you a script. This was the first year. The first year it was very bumpy because we were stupid new guys, all of us. When YTV Rocks went on the air there were five hosts and we were all young, and it was everybody's first time on television, so it was kind of a joke. I really think they had to keep us in a cocoon and sort of gently place us in the studio and tell us what to say and tell us what to do. It wasn't until I think after two years of YTV Rocks, they gave me my own show. Because again, I am ambitious.

I was lucky enough to have producers who saw that I was ready to take the next step and to not be a part one to five. One to five is really tough when you're hosting a show, it's really hard to be one of many. It's hard to be one of two, you really have to have a rhythm. Yeah, it was ... You were very well taken care of at YTV. They could not have been kinder.

Erica Ehm: Let's talk about this transition from one to five to one, to hosting your own show Rock 'n Talk. Would you say luck was involved there? Or was there something a little more weighty involved in that transition?

Laurie Gelman: Like was I the Lizzie Borden of YTV, I just [inaudible] them all off one after the other. Get them out of my way to make it. I think there was a little bit of that. I was very ambitious. I was working with people who were still in high school, some of them. I knew that their path wasn't going to be mine. I was in my career, I was ready to go. I think that was obvious to a lot of people. Nobody lost a job because of me, but they just sort of spun me off into a different direction. That's when things really took off for me.

You have to realize, when we were YTV we looked at you guys as Much as like the superstar powerhouse people. We got your scraps and your leftovers. We were lucky if anybody came by our studio, and lucky if anybody agreed to even be interviewed by us. You guys were ... you were the gold, gold standard. My whole time at YTV, like my next step was like, "I'm going too much. That's what I'm doing. That's my next step." I wasn't that girl. You were all so cool. You had like, you with your hats, and Natalie Renard. All of them were just ... everybody was just so rock n' roll. We were fresh faced, young, innocent. I can't even explain it, but we were not worldly or rock'n'roll at all.

Erica Ehm: Was music, unimportant part of your life back then? Or were you a broadcaster first?

Laurie Gelman: I was a broadcaster first. That's where my training was. I quickly learned about music and learned how much I loved music. That's one of the best things about the job, is you really ... it's on the job immersion into this incredible thing that ... You listen to radio and you watch MTV or whatever it is you watch YTV, Much. But when you actually start to get immersed, and you read the articles about these artists and what they did, and what their lyrics mean, and ... It was a really great transition for me. I was like I used to read the news, the News, the news, and then I started just reading Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly and stuff like that. It took me to another place.

Erica Ehm: You did a kazillion interviews.

Laurie Gelman: I did.

Erica Ehm: Way more than me. Like I guess because-

Laurie Gelman: You think?

Erica Ehm: Yeah, because your show Rock 'n Talk was all about interviews. At Much I was one of six, the interviews were spread out amongst us, but you did them all. I remember you being on like every fricking junket that there was. A junket being, being flown from Toronto to cities all over, usually North America to interview stars have some music, lots of film and TV.

Laurie Gelman: Yeah.

Erica Ehm: Basically, you were learning on the job as you mentioned, and I wondered, what would you say are the most important things about conducting interviews?

Laurie Gelman: The first thing I learned was not to talk over people while they're talking. Because it was a brutal first lesson. I think on my ... it was my first interview, I think it was with Keanu Reeves. It was during the Toronto Film Festival. I asked him questions, and when he answered I go, "mm-hmm (affirmative), mm-hmm (affirmative) yeah, yeah, yeah. Aha, aha." I thought my producer was going to kill me, she goes, "This is unusable. This is not a conversation. You have to stop talking when they're talking." That was a great lesson to learn. It didn't even occur. I was like, "Oh, gosh, yeah, you're right. I have to shut up and actually listen to the answer and not wait... I can't wait to tell you my next thing and what's most important thing I'm going to say."

That was probably the biggest lesson. Also, nobody's who they seem. Everybody has their stuff and everybody ... You're so excited to meet somebody and then you meet them and it's kind of like, "Oh it's not as great as I thought it was going to be." I was thinking about this ... I watched your interview with Kurt Cobain. I thought at the time like that would have been one of the most intimidating interviews to do. Mick Jagger was the toughest I ever had. But I thought that would be so intimidating and how did you keep his attention?

Erica Ehm: Well, there was a strategy there.

Laurie Gelman: Really?

Erica Ehm: Oh, yeah, there was a strategy. When I found out that I was going to be sent to Seattle to interview Kurt Cobain, I was a little nervous because I heard that he was a really difficult interview. He doesn't like authority. He doesn't like mainstream media. I to some degree could be seen as mainstream. The first thing I did was when he walked into the hotel room, because as you know junkets are often done in hotel rooms, which is the most boring background. I said to him when he walked in, "Hi, my name's Erica, would you like to do the interview in the bed? Or on the balcony?" And said that to ... I did it on purpose, Laurie, because I wanted him to see me. I wanted him to have to think of what I just said, and have an answer for me.

I remember him looking really uncomfortable and saying, "On the balcony." I was like, "Sure, no problem." We set up outside and of course there's that, the beautiful background of Seattle that everybody now knows from that interview. Then I continued on that path, which was, I asked questions that I felt would speak to his humanity rather than the typical rock star, "Tell me about how you wrote that song?" I tried to pull in other things like I knew that he read, so I asked him what he was reading. That kind of lit him up. The kinds of questions that I asked, I put them heavy at the top, the sort of life questions so that he became invested in the conversation.

Then the ones that are a little more music oriented, I already had earned his trust and so he gave me better answers for that as well.

Laurie Gelman: Oh I'm sure he did my gosh. That's great. Was that your idea?

Erica Ehm: Yeah, of course. Another thing at-

Laurie Gelman: Fantastic.

Erica Ehm: ... MuchMusic was that no one ever helped you. You were really on your ... The producers had their job, which was mostly post production. They would set things up, and then they would do the editing. But the actual interview, no one ever helped me. I say that-

Laurie Gelman: Not the research and ... nothing. Wow.

Erica Ehm: No, all myself. All my self. It made me tough and it gave me a thick skin. I'm sort of a one woman machine because of it.

Laurie Gelman: Yeah, definitely.

Erica Ehm: It's interesting, because your career also was different, because the jobs that you then took, were more working for a broadcaster, and I went off more as sort of an independent shit disturber. Tell me, how did you end up leaving YTV, which was a great job, you had your own show. What happened?

Laurie Gelman: Oh, my gosh, it was I had been there for four years. I loved it. It was a great job. We were in our 20s, come on, it was so much fun. It sets you up for a little bit of disappointment for the rest of your life, because, it was just nonstop fun. I was looking for a job in the US. I knew I wanted to go to Los Angeles, that was my big ... But I got an agent and she sent my tape to Miami, for a sports job to be a sportscaster. I took the meeting because I wanted to go to Miami. At the end of the interview he said, "I don't know if you're a sportscaster," and I said, "I am definitely not a sportscaster. Especially in a town like Miami." Where you really have to ... like you want to be a female sportscaster you got to know your stuff. You really do. You can't walk in there and fake it.

He said, "Well, I really want to hire you, so what do you do?" And I said, 'Well, I was at YTV. I introduced videos and interviewed celebrities." He's like, "All right, good. Let's do it." That again, lucky. Do you know what I mean? The luck comes in there. I'm good in the room. I'm a lot of energy and enthusiasm when I start something. I got the job offer and then as legend has it, and I've heard this from a couple of people. There was a big shareholders meeting. Because I just went back to YTV, I didn't have a contract. I just went back to YTV. I said, "I'm leaving. I got a job in Miami." I guess they had the shareholders meeting or whatever, and somebody stood up and said, "Who the hell let Laurie Hibbert just walk out of here after four years of us like building her up and making her the face of YTV."

Because they didn't even ... it didn't even occur to them that I would ever go anywhere until I absolutely aged out of the job.

Erica Ehm: You move to Miami. That's brave, I think.

Laurie Gelman: Yes [crosstalk].

Erica Ehm: You don't know anybody, you were quite young, and you had a job. But I'm guessing nothing else. Tell me what that time was like?

Laurie Gelman: It was transitional. You really are moving ... you feel like you're on the moon when you move somewhere so completely the opposite of Canada. I went down there, I found an apartment. Again, here's where my luck comes in. The boss hired me, they gave me my own office, they gave me like a producer. It was for local news. I just sort of grew into it. It was pretty exciting at first. I've never had so much freedom. Everybody was usually like propping me up. All of a sudden, everything was like, "What are you going to do today?" I'm like, "I don't know, what should I do?" They're like, "Well, it's up to you. You've got four minutes to fill on the 10 O'Clock news, so you better do something.'

That was an interesting time. But I should say that when I moved to Miami, a month later, Hurricane Andrew hit and decimated the entire South of Florida. It was awful. We went on 24 hour broadcasting emergency broadcasting. You had a shift you're either 4:00 in the afternoon till 4:00 in the morning, or 4:00 in the morning to 4:00 in the afternoon. You would go down there and you would get helicoptered to Homestead or wherever the story was that day, and you would do your story, and then you would go back to the station and you would ... I had a lot of like, reading messages that people were trying to find people. "Glen Cove. Hey, your sister's fine and she's in Boynton Beach." That was sort of because I wasn't really a news reporter. They sat me down to do one thing because I kept saying, "Put me in their coach, let me do something.'

Then I guess I went down to do something about the Marines coming to help. As soon as I saw the helicopter landing, I'm doing a live shot and I burst into tears. Like, [inaudible]. The boss was like, 'Yeah, you can't do hard news, sorry. Get back to the entertainment."

Erica Ehm: Well, that's crazy.

Laurie Gelman: It was a great learning ... That was incredible experience because you were just on the air. It was like being on radio. You just had a live mic and you just had to keep saying stuff.

Erica Ehm: Well, that was like MuchMusic.

Laurie Gelman: It really was.

Erica Ehm: That's what we did is just nonstop talk four hours every day and live. That's what we did. You were in Miami. You had these interesting experiences. You were finding Laurie's voice?

Laurie Gelman: Yes.

Erica Ehm: When did you meet your husband?

Laurie Gelman: I interviewed him in December of 1993. Regis Philbin, who was the host of his show was coming down to be the Grand Marshal of the Fort Lauderdale Boat Parade. We were the station that was sponsoring the parade and I was the reporter tasked with interviewing Regis. I went to his hotel room because God knows everything takes place in a hotel room and I interviewed Regis, and then Gelman was there with him with his ponytail and his glasses. I didn't really know that much about him. But I was like, I should interview him too, he's part of the show. I interviewed him and not a word of a lie, we've been together since the day we met. We've been together since that day.

Erica Ehm: What happened here?

Laurie Gelman: Weird.

Erica Ehm: Well it's sweet. It's-

Laurie Gelman: I'm a really good interview.

Erica Ehm: I guess. What happened? Tell me about it. Like how did you interview someone and then end up marrying him? Like, what happened during that interview? Or what is it that happened?

Laurie Gelman: Well, I have to say Regis had a little bit of something to do with it, because he always was trying to get Michael to, "Oh, Gelman she's cute, and Kathie Lee can't last forever." So [crosstalk].

Erica Ehm: No, like he was looking to replace ... like for you to host?

Laurie Gelman: Yeah, that's because he thought every girl wanted the job beside him, which pretty much everybody did. It was a great job. But Kathie Lee wasn't going anywhere first, like she was entrenched in that show. He would ... just wanted to nudge Michael and give him a hard time. For whatever reason, he chose me. When he was in, he goes, Oh, my God, Laurie Hibbert's here. Nobody told me Laurie Hibbert was going to be here. Gelman, this is huge. This is huge." That kind of thing started and then we did the boat parade and then he came back to this like big party we were having at the hotel, and Michael was with him and we were all just sort of schmoozing around and then someone said, "Hey, let's go out to [Confettis], which was this old nightclub in Fort Lauderdale and God, I don't know if I should tell you the story, but I may as well.

Miss Teen Florida was at the party as well. She had hooked her arm right around Michael ... Even though Michael was talking to me, she came over and then she took ... I have no interest in competing with Miss Teen Florida for anything ever, thank you. I said, "Oh, you guys go ahead. I'm fine." Michael said, "No, I want you to come." And I was like, "Yeah it's good." He goes, "No, really Laurie come." Then Miss Teen Florida sort of went, "Well, maybe I won't come." Then Michael said, "All right, see you later." At that point, I knew we liked each other. It just ... we stayed up till like 5:00 in the morning talking. We talked about skiing. We talked about everything. Our whole lives, basically. But skiing was the big thing because it was something we both loved to do.

He called me the next day and he sent me flowers a week later. Then it just happened. We kept in touch, and I wasn't looking to go to ... I wasn't looking for a job first of all. I had a great job. I loved Miami. I wasn't looking to go to New York for sure. I really wanted to go to Los Angeles if I was going to go anywhere. Four months later, I got a job offer in New York without even really going for it.

Erica Ehm: What? Wait, stop out of the blue. You got a job offer in New York?

Laurie Gelman: Yes, I know. Well, I had to go audition obviously. I went up for an audition. I didn't think it was going to be anything and I was so surprised when they hired me. I couldn't believe it. That was the talk show with Tom Bergeron on FX. That was my next leap. But the funny thing was Michael and I've been dating for maybe five months, four months, four months. Then I called him one day and I said, "You know what? I'm moving to New York, I got a job offer." He was like, "What? You're not moving here for me, are you?" And I said, "No, asshat." Excuse me, I'm sorry. "No idiot. I'm living here for the six figure job." He really choked at first because he was worried that I was coming just to be with him, but when he realized I had a legitimate offer. Once I moved here we were 100% full time.

Then seven quick years later, he asked me to marry him.

Erica Ehm: Okay, so you were together for seven years?

Laurie Gelman: Yeah.

Erica Ehm: Wow.

Laurie Gelman: Yeah.

Erica Ehm: It's interesting when you said to me at the top of the show that luck has played a large part in your life. That usually irks me. I usually challenge people on that to tell you the truth, because I feel like most of us make our own luck. But-

Laurie Gelman: Oh yeah the harder you work the luckier you get. That's what I used to say.

Erica Ehm: Yeah, except Laurie, you got a horseshoe up your ass.

Laurie Gelman: I know. I'm extremely lucky.

Erica Ehm: Girl.

Laurie Gelman: Sometimes I think my luck sort of ran out, but then I started writing books and I got lucky again.

Erica Ehm: Wait a second. Your luck didn't run ... Let's go back. Don't jump ahead here because-

Laurie Gelman: Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Erica Ehm: You were in New York living in New York, and then you eventually married Michael or Gelman.

Laurie Gelman: Gelman.

Erica Ehm: Gelman. You converted. You're a fellow Jew now.

Laurie Gelman: I am a member of the tribe. Yep.

Erica Ehm: What the hell happened? What happened? Why did you do that? That's a huge commitment.

Laurie Gelman: It was huge. It was one of the top three things I've ever done in my life, truthfully. The journey I took was phenomenal and fantastic. I never for one second have regretted it. But at the time, I was dating Michael and I was working at FX and he was doing the show. We were having this great time. Five years ... and I knew just based on stories he told me that I would never be able to bring up marriage. It has to be his idea, or it isn't a good idea. I knew that no matter what, where we were, what was going on I had to like, never say anything about anything, which I never did.

We were in Mexico, and we were visiting a friend of his and she took us out for dinner and then finally she's like, "All right, I just have to say this Gelman what's it going to take for you to marry this girl?" And for the first time, these words came out of his mouth. "Well, I can't marry a girl who isn't Jewish." I was like, "What? That's like a second date thing, that's not a five years in." He had never said that to me or in my earshot to anybody else. This girl looks at me and she said, "Well, are you willing to convert?" And I couldn't. It was so shocking at that time. I grew up Catholic, and I grew up super Catholic. We went to church. I was an altar girl and there was ...

It was an interesting moment when I sort of had to ... I said, "Well, I'll think about it." I said, "It's definitely something I'll think about." That sort of made him feel better. We did a little ... What do I want to say? What's the word? Due diligence, I guess together. It was after we did the introduction to Judaism classes, and I realized, when you really start picking it apart and looking at it, there's only one major difference between Catholics and Jews. If you can get past that, then you're going to be okay. Because what I loved about the things I learned about the Jewish faith is, is the whole philosophy that it centers around the mother and at home. It's always leave a place better than you found it, and just do the best you can do. Question everything.

It was revolutionary for me, it opened my eyes to so many things. The first time I ever went to a temple, to a service, I bawled my eyes out, because I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Because it's kind of a fix, because I took I went with my whole class that was I was taking the class with, and they take you to B'nai Jeshurun, which is this amazing temple on the Upper West Side where they sing and dance in the aisles. They kind of alluded to it in that movie, Keeping the Faith, with Ben Stiller. Do you remember when he played the rabbi, and Ed Norton played the priest? No.

Erica Ehm: Oh, I got to see it. I've never seen it.

Laurie Gelman: Oh you really should. They had this joyful congregation and that's basically what I went to. I couldn't believe there are people dancing in the aisles and singing, and it was just ... Nothing I'd ever seen before. I said, "Yeah, I think I can do this."

Erica Ehm: When did he actually asked you to get married, before you started taking the classes or once you completed it?

Laurie Gelman: Once I completed it. You'd love him, Erica. He will stand you down, he will stare you in the face just to get it done. Oh my gosh. Yeah, no, he did that. But I ended up studying for like a year and a half to become Jewish. Then I had to do a mikvah and you have to like stand in front of the congregation and denounce your Catholicism. It's a real journey. There's a lot to be going on. There's lots of reading done and meeting with the rabbi. But I did my mikvah, a month before we got married. I was just finishing things up when ... He had asked me to marry him while I was studying, which is very nice of him when you think about it.

Erica Ehm: I would venture to say, people say that you know that behind every great man is like a greater woman, because you're there for when those great people are not great. When they're feeling weak. You are the support system that no one else gets to see. Tell me, what role do you play in his life? Because you're not a pushover.

Laurie Gelman: No, I'm not. I feel like, a lot of times, I'm the wind beneath his wings. Here's what happens when you have kids is you have to make a decision of how much further in your career, you're going to go, go, go or are you going to step back, and be everybody's support system. I ended up doing that after I had my second child, I decided I was going to stay home. Before that I was his equal partner, we went to things together, we were always out doing being and it was lots of fun. But when I stepped out and decided to be a mother, it's a tough step. You have to go through a lot of attitude adjusting to realize that your only reason to get up in the morning is to make sure the kids get off to school and Michael gets off to work and everybody's happy. Then you close the door and your day is yours.

But what are you doing? You're not going to work, you're going to clean the house and you're going to go get the dry cleaning, and you're going to make sure everybody has a dentist appointment. It's a real, like, turn.

Erica Ehm: What did that do to your head?

Laurie Gelman: It messed me up for a while just because you ... We would go to parties and people forget so quickly what you used to do, and they're like, "So what do you do?" I used to literally say nothing. I go, "I do nothing." It used to make Michaels so mad. He's like, "I hate when you say you do nothing." He said, "Even if you're not working full time, you're still doing this, you're still doing this. You're still..." He was always trying to build me up, but it really is ... I mean he is in a business where nobody cares unless you're the person in front of the camera. I am literally asked to stand aside. "Ma'am, could you please stand aside," so many times in a photo line, because they want to get a shot of Michael and Kelly together.

Erica Ehm: [crosstalk] Oh, I can't even imagine. I was thinking about that, that how I would feel having ... I thought it was interesting that you changed your ... You took his name, you changed your name. I thought that was-

Laurie Gelman: I did.

Erica Ehm: That was that's a huge statement, because you put up a lot of years into building up the name, Laurie Hibbert. Suddenly the person Laurie Gelman emerges and no one knows who she is.

Laurie Gelman: Right. It's funny the day I had my name change, and it was important to Michael that I changed my name because he wanted us to be a family unit and I really didn't mind. But I remember trading in my ID. I had to go someplace ... It wasn't the DMV, but it was someplace like that. I traded in my ID and she gave me something back. She said, that's it, no more Laurie Hibbert." Just those words, I was like, "Wow." That was when it hit me more than ... Just the process of doing it didn't bother me as much as hearing that." No more Laurie Hibbert, she's gone.

Erica Ehm: You realize that our lives crossed, I mean really crossed because I had created a show for Life Network in the year 2003 to 2005. It was called Yummy Mummy.

Laurie Gelman: I remember.

Erica Ehm: It was a parenting show for modern mothers. We shot 26 episodes of it. It was shot against a green screen. It was super expensive, because there was animation kind of like Pee-wee Herman's Great Adventure.

Laurie Gelman: Oh cool.

Erica Ehm: Yeah, it was a little kooky. Then the show after 26 episodes was canceled. They replaced it with a show called The Mom Show, starring-

Laurie Gelman: I did not know that that ... I did not know that.

Erica Ehm: Yes. It's okay. It's fine. That's showbiz. It's nothing ... I hated you, but you know ...

Laurie Gelman: Stand in line. Stand in line.

Erica Ehm: But when you hosted that show, in Toronto, you were living in New York, you were married with kids. How the hell did you do that?

Laurie Gelman: It was, again, lucky that they realized I had a limited amount of time that I could spend in Toronto. I would fly in Monday morning at 5:00 AM, 6:00 AM I take the flight and being in the studio taping at 9:00. We'd tape three shows one day, and three shows on Tuesday. Then two shows on Wednesday. I would get on a plane at noon on Wednesday and be home by like three o'clock in the afternoon. I only missed Monday and Tuesday, really, and I saw everybody Wednesday afternoon when I got home. That was only 10 weeks of the year that I did that. They made it as easy as possible. It was a real Hail Mary because anything could have happened.

I was flying during the winter. I was flying during summer thunderstorms. But I never missed a show, which is ... I thought was incredible.

Erica Ehm: But how did you do that, because your husband works? How did you manage that?

Laurie Gelman: I had an amazing babysitter who came and ... She didn't live ... Michael is a really hands on dad, so anything that he could do, he would do. But for the time that during the day that he was at work and I was in Canada, we would hire this woman and she would come in and she was amazing. Like she was just great and the kids loved her. It wasn't a perfect solution-

Erica Ehm: There is no-

Laurie Gelman: ... but it was-

Erica Ehm: There's no such thing as perfection, Laurie.

Laurie Gelman: Yeah, I know.

Erica Ehm: Its you have to give and take and you got to make things happen. One of the things that really bugs me about being a mother was this feeling of guilt that we put on ourselves, where we're not doing enough for our kids. But at the same time, we're resentful because we don't have a life because we do everything for our kids. How did you deal with those feelings of guilt? Because you pursued your career, which somewhat impacted your kids.

Laurie Gelman: It definitely impacted them. They hated seeing me ... They knew Sunday night when they woke up Monday morning, I wasn't going to be there. I'd always leave them notes where they were going to sit at breakfast. You deal with the guilt by, I don't want to say not dealing with it, but you realize how much it's feeding your soul to be away from them and doing something you love. It almost makes you better when you come back. You're more willing to sit on the rug and play chutes and ladders or whatever it is they want to play or make believe or tea party. I used to love those days away. Leaving was hard, but once I got there and I had two nights of full sleep to myself, and I would call them and I would try to talk to them as much as I could, but I probably shouldn't say that. It fed me It saved me as a matter of fact.

I think that I was a much better mother because I was able to get away once in a while.

Erica Ehm: You told your kids that when they would beg you to stay home, you explained that you couldn't because you were doing a show that was helping moms become better moms.

Laurie Gelman: Yes.

Erica Ehm: Which I thought was a good-

Laurie Gelman: What else was I going to say?

Erica Ehm: But I think that's a good way of explaining that show. I do think like when I did my Yummy Mommy show and then launched my website, YMC, which was by the way at that same time.

Laurie Gelman: Oh it was.

Erica Ehm: I launched-

Laurie Gelman: My gosh.

Erica Ehm: Yes. That's how long I've been doing it. In 2006, I launched YMC. I know your jaw is dropping, but that's how long I've been-

Laurie Gelman: I just can't believe you were doing that. How old were your kids though?

Erica Ehm: Josh was born in 2000 and Jessie was 2003, so our kids are around the same age.

Laurie Gelman: They are Yeah.

Erica Ehm: Well, we also got married ... I got married in the end of '99, so you and I are sort of on the same ...

Laurie Gelman: Wow. [crosstalk].

Erica Ehm: Yes, I know. That's why I wanted to do this interview and break all the rules, because there were too many sort of synchronicities with how we have chosen to live our lives right?

Laurie Gelman: Yeah.

Erica Ehm: A lot of parallels.

Laurie Gelman: Yeah.

Erica Ehm: What I wanted to ask you though, now your kids are grown, for the most part, they're kind of baked.

Laurie Gelman: 16 and 19.

Erica Ehm: And mine are 16 and 20, almost 17, so like, we're kind of ... They're baked, our kids are baked at this point. You hosted a show on motherhood for a few years. What advice do you give new moms now knowing everything that you know? You've been exposed to great thinkers on parenting. You are a parent, you have parented you see the results. What kinds of things do you tell new parents?

Laurie Gelman: Gosh, I haven't given anybody parenting advice in so long, just because my friends are all older and nobody has a baby anymore. I'm trying to think what some of my best tips used to be. It sounds ... "Oh, don't forget time for yourself." And stuff like that.

Erica Ehm: Well, you were living [crosstalk]. That's what you were saying, that's an important piece.

Laurie Gelman: It was, it but it sounds like something, "Oh take care of yourself. Get lots of sleep." It seems like a useful thing to say, but you have to be a little bit selfish even though-

Erica Ehm: But wait a second you weren't, because-

Laurie Gelman: I was.

Erica Ehm: But you-

Laurie Gelman: I went to Canada for three days a week for 10 weeks.

Erica Ehm: Yeah, but then you stayed home with your kids.

Laurie Gelman: For 42 weeks, yeah.

Erica Ehm: But for how long did you choose to give up your career and be full time stay at home mom? How many years?

Laurie Gelman: Well, I considered The Mom Show was part of my stay at home time because I was home 42 weeks of the year. I sort of made that in my head. I've been home ever since. I never did get another job. I never did take another full time job, so 16 years, 17 years.

Erica Ehm: Why not? Why didn't you look for another job? And by the way, zero guilt, and not that you should have. Okay? Just so you know I'm not asking you because I think that women should work, I don't. I think women should do what they want to do. That's what choice is, that's what feminism is, right? Is living the life that you want. Why didn't you want to go back to work?

Laurie Gelman: I was enjoying my life. I would exercise every day. I had time to read. I loved taking care of my family. I loved dropping the girls off at school and like, "I'll see you at three o'clock," and knowing that I would be there to pick them up as well. I'd have this really nice day. I have to say like there's something very liberating about not worrying about the money. Not worrying about pleasing my boss or being there on time or whatever. Your day is your own. You can get a lot done and I would feel productive. The only time it would hurt honestly, is when we would go out and it was ... and I'm telling you Erica, nobody wants to talk to Gelman's wife. Like, nobody cares what I have to say because I'm not ... It's all about right now who you are and what have you done lately. You become sort of invisible if you let yourself.

Again, and I'm jumping ahead but that's why I decided finally to write a book, because I couldn't just be the mom helping in the classroom anymore, or the best ... I used to spend hours making monkey face cupcakes, because they're the biggest seller at the bake sale. That was like an important job for me. I knew that I had to make money for the school. The things that you put on yourself that you think are now important, and that feeds you and makes you feel like you're doing something and you're contributing. But I always thought being home was the best use of my time for my girls. Making sure that I was there for them. They walk in the apartment, and the first thing they do is, "Mom?" Just because they want to know your home.

It's the first thing that I always hear when they come home, to this day, actually.

Erica Ehm: Now you are author, Laurie Gelman.

Laurie Gelman: Author, yeah.

Erica Ehm: Tell me about that.

Laurie Gelman: That came out of nowhere.

Erica Ehm: Well, did it come out of nowhere?

Laurie Gelman: Well, it did and it didn't. I decided I wanted to be creative. If you're a creative person, you can't hold it down for too long. I finally decided ... I was blogging a bit, and I was doing some things with BabyCenter and with a couple of magazines. But I realized I wanted to write a book, and I thought, "Oh, I'll write a children's book, because that'll be easy." Like they'll print anything. There's so much crap out there. I wrote a book called Two Weeks Till My Birthday, and it was about a little girl who was turning eight, and her mother had given her permission to think of her own birthday party theme and what she wanted for her birthday party, and it became the most anxious two weeks of her life.

She couldn't sleep because she was worried like, "What if my friends don't like it? What if nobody comes? Who likes chocolate? Who likes vanilla? What games are we going to play?" She becomes very anxious and then she has this big talk with her mom. We realized that you have to just do the party that you want to throw, and then if people love you, they'll come no matter what kind of ice cream you're going to serve. I thought that was genius. I really did. I thought it was like the best book and I couldn't wait. I went to my husband's agency, because you need an agent, you can't just ... People ask me this all the time, you have to have an agent. You can try to self publish, but if you want it to get steam and go anywhere and have any sort of wind behind it, you have to have the establishment behind you, basically.

I got an agent through my husband's agent, and then I ... He sent it out and 46 rejections came back faster than I could believe. Not one nice thing was said about this book. It was like, it's this, it's this. It was never like the same. The criticisms weren't all the same. It wasn't like, "Oh her main character isn't likable." It was, everything had a different reason for not wanting this book. I was like, "Wow, okay, well..." I was literally thinking, well, that's that, I don't care if I ever do that again, because that was excruciating. Then I was having lunch with my agent and I was telling him this story, because I was a class mom at the time, and I was so fricking frustrated by these juvenile parents who can't take responsibility for anything. You send out an email and nobody mails you back.

I'm telling him all this and he was laughing. He said, "That's your book." I said, "Why would I write about that? Why would I write about something that annoys the crap out of me all the time?" And he said, "Just go home and see if you can write the first 20 pages." And I did.

Erica Ehm: No, but what's the answer? Why would you write something that annoys the crap out of you?

Laurie Gelman: Because you write what makes you passionate. Not unnecessarily what makes you sing. It could be. It could be something that makes your heart sore. But if it's something that creates a reaction in you, either a good one or a bad one, and you just get it out there and that's where your creativity comes out. I had a great time writing the first book. It was so cathartic.

Erica Ehm: I think you wrote it in Starbucks. Is that ...

Laurie Gelman: I wrote it in Starbucks at 88th and Broadway, yep, every day. Every single day. Because what I learned is that the only way to write a book is to actually sit down and write the stupid book. You can't say your writing a book and sit down once in a while and let your fingers cross over the keyboard. You have to, like a job you have to show up every day on time and sit there, and even if you don't do anything except correct punctuation in whatever you've written, you've got to do it every day, so I did.

Erica Ehm: But why didn't you do it at your home, you've got a beautiful home?

Laurie Gelman: I do but I was ... Every time ... I don't know if you ... Especially because I had little kids at the time, or medium sized kids I guess. There's so much to do. All I saw in the house was all the things that needed to be done. I couldn't get myself out of that. It was too easy to stop and go to the fridge, or stop and fold laundry or make a bed or whatever. I knew I needed to just be away from it, so I went to the one place I knew where you could sit for hours and nobody would bother you and I wrote the book. The funny thing was that when I finished the book at Starbucks too. I remember being all by myself, and I would type "The End", which is a great moment. I was just like ... I looked around, and like, there's a barista and a homeless guy like waiting for the bathroom and me. I was like, "This is my moment." It didn't make it any sadder. I was very happy with that moment.

Erica Ehm: It won awards. It topped the bestseller list, it won awards.

Laurie Gelman: Yes, I know.

Erica Ehm: I think that what people really like about it, because I think the award was ... Well, the Vine Award for-

Laurie Gelman: The Vine Award.

Erica Ehm: ... Jewish literature.

Laurie Gelman: Yeah.

Erica Ehm: How did you get an award for Jewish ... Was there a lot of oys in there and ...?

Laurie Gelman: No, not even one. That's the funny thing. I'll never understand why I won this award. It wasn't even like Jewish humor. It was the literature award. It was because ... Because I asked them, I'm like, "How in the world could I have one this?" The criteria is you have to be Jewish and an author. So luckily, I became Jewish and then I wrote a funny book." They said to me, "We get so many submissions that are ... and no disrespect, but it's just the same story. It's a hardship story and it's brutal." There have been many, many books written about the struggle, and the one of the judges said, "Your book was just so fun and funny." He's, "There was just no chance you weren't going to win, because we were all just so delighted to read something funny and light, as opposed to the hardship stories."

Erica Ehm: Did you know that you're funny?

Laurie Gelman: Nope. No idea. I used to call it the cocktail party in my head, because I would think things, but I would never have the guts to say them. I didn't know whether they were funny or not. It wasn't until I worked with Tom Bergeron, on Breakfast Time. Not even then, because he was so funny and everybody on that show was hilarious. If I said something, and somebody laughed, I would be so surprised. But when I started writing, when I started writing, first my blog, and then these books, like, the cocktail party in my head started coming out onto the paper, and that was ... and then somebody would read it and laugh, and I'd be like, "Oh my gosh, really?" I would never say that out loud, but I can write.

Erica Ehm: You followed up with, You've Been Volunteered, which also is doing so well.

Laurie Gelman: It did really well. It didn't do as well as the first one, unfortunately. But the sophomore book never does so it's fine.

Erica Ehm: But it seems like there should be a TV series, Laurie. Come on, you're doing it right? Tell me.

Laurie Gelman: Especially since I just finished the third book.

Erica Ehm: Did you?

Laurie Gelman: Yeah, it's coming out in July.

Erica Ehm: What's it called?

Laurie Gelman: They wanted ... It's called Yoga Pant Nation. I know.

Erica Ehm: Sponsored by Lululemon.

Laurie Gelman: We can see each other in this podcast, so the look on your face was ... I was back and forth on the title. I didn't want it. I'm listening to other people's advice now. They suggested many, many things that they think will make the third book pop. So, yeah. That's what it's called.

Erica Ehm: But seriously, is there a TV series in the works? Like I'm sure your agent is pitching it to people?

Laurie Gelman: Well, I think before COVID there was a lot of sort of simmering interest and I actually did write a pilot for a television show. Then sort of everything hit and everything closed down and I frankly haven't been focused enough to pursue it since then.

Erica Ehm: It reminds me of-

Laurie Gelman: I know-

Erica Ehm: ... you know the book or the movie. Where'd you go, Bernadette? It reminded me a little bit of that.

Laurie Gelman: But look what happened, I mean that book was one of my favorite books of all time and the movie wasn't that great I didn't think. I didn't translate.

Erica Ehm: Yeah, but there was a movie. It's fun.

Laurie Gelman: There was a movie, true.

Erica Ehm: It'd be fun. Then people would be pushing Gelman out of the way and say, "Mrs. Hibbert." Or no, "Mrs. Gelman, Mrs. Gelman, we want to [crosstalk] interview you."

Laurie Gelman: Yeah, that's going to happen. We'll see. The icing on the cake is finishing the book. The cherry is getting it published. Anything after that is such gravy that you can't ... I feel like I was succeeded just by getting it out there. If it does, well, that's going to be even better. You have to sort of temper your excitement, because I don't want to put anything out there that I don't think as I said earlier that I don't want to jinx anything, I guess.

Erica Ehm: You've had really pretty amazing life to date. You're only halfway done. What would you say has been your proudest achievement to date?

Laurie Gelman: Okay, this is going to sound very ... not insincere, but it's going to sound like a typical mom answer. But having my children and raising two good, good daughters has been absolutely the best thing I did in my life. Remember, I told you that converting to Judaism was one of them, having my children converting to Judaism, and randomly and I don't know why, but this changed my life. I took a self defense class when I first moved to New York and it just changed how I walk and how I view the world. It taught me not to be scared. It doesn't give you a false sense of ... I know exactly who I am, I'm a tiny woman. But I felt so much better after taking that class, I can't begin to tell you.

Erica Ehm: I love talking to you. I had no idea who you were today. It's really fun getting to know you again. I love that you are so straightforward. I love that you do what you want to do and you don't really care what other people think. That although you do keep your cocktail voice in your head until-

Laurie Gelman: For the most part, yeah.

Erica Ehm: For the most part. A lot of people would say, "What? Are you crazy giving up your career?" And you knew what was right for you. I think for those people who are listening to this, we all kind of know what's right for us. All the advice in the world would be helpful, but ultimately, we have to make the decisions, because we have to live with being at home for 14 years. Right? The people who give us that advice, stay home. They don't have to be at home for 14 years, so you made the right decision. You told me the highlight of your life has been staying home with our kids.

Laurie Gelman: Definitely, yeah.

Erica Ehm: I think that's a beautiful thing. The fact that you are Jewish now, like...

Laurie Gelman: You really like that now.

Erica Ehm: Well, you're my people. It's hilarious.

Laurie Gelman: Listen and I'm super Jew., so it's really annoying to be around me and like, "Shabbat Shalom, everybody." I'm like the only one that remembers the prayers [inaudible]. It's just everyone's like, "Oh god, why did you convert."

Erica Ehm: Hilarious. Laurie, thank you so much. We're going to wrap up today's interview, and to remind everybody listening right now that you are such an important part of this show, and I really need to hear what you think of the show. We set up a phone line for the listeners of this podcast, where you can call in and have your voice heard. Basically, you're leaving a voice message for me. That voice message can be played on this show. The phone number-

Laurie Gelman: It's like the speaker's corner. It's like the speakers corner-

Erica Ehm: Yes.

Laurie Gelman: ... of podcasts. That's so cool.

Erica Ehm: You can call into Laurie 833-

Laurie Gelman: I will.

Erica Ehm: ... 972-7272. I'll say that number again, for those of you who are looking for something to write with, because that happens, or you can just put it into your phone 833-972-7272. You can call in, give us feedback on the show, you can suggest someone else that you think would be a great interview on Reinvention of the VJ, or perhaps suggest questions and I would love to hear your anecdotes. Maybe there are things about MuchMusic that meant a lot to you, something that made you laugh, something that was really memorable. Perhaps you met some of the on air people in real life and want to dish a little bit about what happened. All that would be great. Give us a call 833-972-7272.

If you're not a phone type person, I'm cool with that. You can reach out to me on all different social media platforms because I kind of live online. You can find me on Instagram, on Twitter. I have a Erica Ehm Facebook page. All you have to do is just search my name Erica Ehm, and you will find me online. I want to thank everybody for listening especially, I want to thank Laurie for being a part of this, and to remember to all of you that next week, I'll be back with another episode of Reinvention of the VJ. Here's to living a life filled with music, meaning, and many reinventions.

Speaker 4: Thanks for listening. Follow Erica hams Reinvention of the VJ podcast. Subscribe and follow more episodes. Click to reinventionofthevj.com. Podcast produced in collaboration with Steve Anthony Productions. Editing and coordination [inaudible] Communications Inc. Copyright 2020

EPISODE 11: Laurie Gelman

Show Transcript

MY STORY // SPEAKER // SERVICES // AWARDS // REINVENTION OF THE VJ // SCHEDULE // TESTIMONIALS // INSIGHTS // CONTACT